Red Beans and Rice Recipe

A lot of this is going to be trial-and-error, and it's going to take a little practice before you get it right. You'll probably want to fiddle with it each time you make it, and arrive at the exact, instinctual combinations of seasonings that you like. Feel free to alter this recipe to your taste, but don't stray too far.

2 12oz cans red beans (not kidney beans, know the difference!)
1 large onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
5 ribs celery, chopped
As much garlic as you like, minced (I like lots, 5 or 6 cloves)
1 large smoked ham hock
1 to 1-1/2 pounds mild or hot smoked sausage, sliced
1/2 to 1 tsp. dried thyme leaves, crushed
1 or 2 bay leaves
As many dashes Louisiana Hot Sauce as you like, to taste
A few dashes Worcestershire sauce
Creole seasoning blend, to taste; OR, red pepper and black pepper to taste
Salt to taste

Pour one can of red beans into blender and blend it. Don’t ask any questions, just do it! Throw all the ingredients in big pot, and, if necessary, enough water to cover. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a low simmer. Cook 2 - 3 hours at least, until the whole thing gets nice and creamy. Adjust seasonings as you go along. Stir occasionally, making sure that it doesn't burn and/or stick to the bottom of the pot for if it does consider yourself a failure and lacking merit enough to deserve this dish.

Serve generous ladles-full over hot white long-grain rice, with good French bread and good beer.